Susan Taylor Chehak

Dear Officer Awl (or can I call you Dennis?),

Please accept these flowers as a token of my gratitude and admiration for your hard work and dedication to your profession. I want you to know that I was able to go ahead and get the proof of insurance and proper registration for my vehicle (you'll recall it was a 1997 RAV 4) and get it out of airport impound, with only the minor inconvenience of having to drive back down to Denver (4 hours round trip) three days later – as you know, there was a blizzard in Denver on Wednesday which shut down the airport and the highways until Friday, making my return trip to get the impounded car impossible. Luckily I did have my rental car, although that was expensive! Whew! But, I'm glad I waited because the two hour trip back down to the airport down turned out to be lovely – what is there to complain about in landscape like this, especially when there's just been a blizzard! Beautiful! We sure don't get snow and roads like this in California!

I also want to apologize for my behavior – I do understand that you were just doing your job when you issued that ticket to my friend Mick, who was kind enough to have driven my belongings and my dog and cats to Denver from Toronto the day before. That he didn't have a driver's license was certainly a problem! That poor clerk in the motel in Des Moines, who photocopied it when he checked in and then forgot to give it back, has FedExed it to him here so that now he will be driving legally! But how were you to know?! It really was unfair of us to expect you to be understanding about our situation.

And how irritating it must have been when you asked me where I live, and I gave you three different locations! California, Colorado, and Canada! I expect it must be really difficult for someone with a more menial job such as your own to see all the more successful people coming and going on vacation, on their way to posh ski resorts, while you get to stand there in your orange vest in the cold, keeping them moving, keeping them moving. I'm sure that the heightened security at the airport has only made your job more difficult.

And why should you be expected to know anything about Canada? Providences, provinces, who cares, right? It is a foreign country, after all. I've heard some people call Canadians "Mexicans with sweaters," and we all know how much of a problem those illegal immigrants from south of the border have become, taking away jobs from good Americans like us. And the Canadians are worse! They don't even want to work! Coming in here, acting like Americans, mostly you can't even tell they're Canadian until they talk and say something like "aboot" for about, which is, as you know, a dead giveaway. That Mick only had his public health insurance card to show you for ID must have been just one more insult, as you are probably working really hard at your job for not much money and maybe your health package isn't that great either. But that doesn't mean socialism is the answer!

Listen, my boyfriend is a TV writer, and he's worked on a few cop shows (maybe you've seen them? Case Closed? Detective School?). Our friend Frank Winkle is an ex LAPD Cop who worked some of the worst parts of LA and was one of the writers on Case Closed, and he told us that the cops who get airport duty are always the ones who have trouble working on the street – attitude problems, usually, he says. I'm sure that's not why you are working Airport, though, because I know you must really love what you do or you wouldn't be so passionate about it. Still, it's got to be a bummer to think that nobody respects you. And even worse for you, because you are a man of smaller stature – and believe me, I know what that's like. I'm only five feet tall, myself, and my dad is only 5'6" – he has had to work really hard his whole life to get people to take him seriously. Luckily I'm a woman so for me, petite is pretty. But for you, well, what else can you do but make it clear to people that you have the kind of power that you have – to give traffic tickets and parking tickets and make them move along, move along? And calling the tow truck on me – that was balls, man! Added at least two inches to your stature, honest! Don't let anybody tell you you're a small person! Stand tall!

Anyway, if you are unhappy in your life, I don't blame you. I'm sure you watched TV as a kid, maybe even some of the shows my boyfriend wrote, and thought being a cop was going to be all drama and car chases and guns and showing your badge. Like Miami Vice, right? But here you are, in Denver, in the airport! Directing traffic?! That's gotta be hard. So I guess I don't blame you for projecting your own self-loathing onto the rest of the world. I mean, really, where else are you going to put it? But, as your friend (I do hope we can be friends?) let me tell you, Dennis, if you can find some love to put out there instead, you'll be a lot happier, and the world will be a better place, too. You know, understanding? For the human condition? Your superior, who came to the scene, admitted that maybe you don't have the best manners or people-personality (okay, so maybe that is what landed you in Airport Duty in the first place?), and so I'm guessing that probably your personal relationships aren't giving you what you want either. Am I right? I mean it's hard enough for a small man to find someone his own size, but then to keep your dignity, too, when really you're just plain pissed off at the world, well, it's hard!

And I know I must have seemed like a smarty-pants know-it-all. That would have been really irritating for a man who doesn't know that Canada has provinces instead of states and can't spell Toronto (although I want you to know that I think "Tranto" was an excellent attempt at sounding it out). Maybe you had a difficult childhood, deprived in some way, and didn't get the education that everybody else got. And if they made fun of you in school for not being able to spell or read or write very well, heck, that's just not fair. I mean, everybody has their own talents and it's not fair that all of them are not recognized equally. Maybe you're good with numbers or something, right? I'm sure that your learning disability must be one of the good things about working Airport Duty, though, because you probably don't have to write out the kinds of reports you'd have to do if you were a real policeman? From what I hear, those are a real pain in the you-know-where and have brought many a fine man down.

Well, anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I understand how hard it must be to be a man like yourself and to send some sympathy and appreciation your way. And also, I wanted to let you know that I have not "killed three people, driving without insurance" as you were so afraid might happen (I recall that you said this to me several times when I asked you why you couldn't just take me at my word that I do have insurance) – I know you are only protecting the public from others who might not have insurance. And I know you didn't mean to call me a liar, although it would be reasonable for you to think that I was lying because you know the power of exaggeration, too, don't you! Boy does that get me in trouble sometimes! So when you said that my friend Mick would have to come back from Canada again at the end of January to appear in court in person or have a warrant put out for his arrest, and be taken into custody and put in jail if he ever tried to enter the Unites States again, I know you were exaggerating, as your superior explained later that really all he has to do is sign the form and send the check, which would have been no problem! But hey, sometimes you have to bend the truth a bit for effect, right? And if that means lying a bit, well, okay, maybe you have to lie a bit sometimes. That doesn't make you a liar! The same as that just because I can't PROVE I have insurance doesn't mean I'm lying when I say I have it.

So, I guess it was all just a big misunderstanding, and I want you to know that I am taking complete responsibility for that! I mean how were you to know what my day had been like?! That I got up at 4:30 that morning to get the shuttle to the airport, only to have my flight from Burbank cancelled! (They said it was mechanical failure, but you know how the airlines are – always trying to save money as they go out of business. I'm sure you've met up with plenty of people at the airport who are tired travelers and why should you show them any favors, especially at Christmastime?!) That I then had to wait another two hours in the airport and then fly to San Francisco to get a flight back down to Las Vegas and then on to Denver, well that wasn't your fault! And then that when I finally did arrive 8 hours later, my bags weren't on my plane but on another and so they were delayed, which is why Mick had to keep circling when he was trying to pick me up, while I was inside waiting for the bags so that the airline wouldn't have to waste time and gas and money driving them up to the mountains for me.

It must have been really irritating to see him coming around again and again like that! I wonder when you noticed the expired registration? That was brilliant! You caught him! Maybe they'll let you go back to being a real policeman if you keep up the good work like that! Way to have the eagle-eye!

You will be happy to know that I was able to get a rental car with no problem. That's the good luck that I have of being a Gold Club member at Hertz. Let me tell you, having a job that makes enough money so I can have credit card really pays off! I highly recommend it to you! It lets me go to the front of the line just by showing my drivers' license. But whew, what a busy time to be renting a car. Not a single four-wheel-drive was available! You'd think that there in Colorado, in the mountains, they'd have plenty of those, but not at this time of year. So I had to get a smaller car to drive up into the resort. Boy did I miss my four-wheel RAV then! Driving up the mountain in the snow in the dark in an unfamiliar car after traveling all day was sketchy all right. Sure, of course it would have been better for everybody if I had just had my own car to drive, but how were you supposed to know that? You're not God after all!! Just a very small cog in a very large machine, right? Just like everybody else, doing their best to get by? Anyway, you sure have taught me one thing: not to take that registering the car business for granted in the future!

I sure was nervous though, I have to tell you, because then after we left the airport that night (I think by the time you let us go it was already almost 10 pm, wasn't it?) we were delayed for another two hours on I-70 because there was a terrible wreck – vehicular fire, I think – certainly some fatalities – and they had to close the interstate and divert traffic to a side road. You can imagine what it was like, creeping up the hill in the dark like that, after a full day of travel, starting at 4:30 in the morning, as I said – and of course I had to drive, because of the whole license thing with Mick, as you explained. Better to follow the letter of the law, right?! I mean, even though it's true that Mick was well-rested and a much better driver than I am, while I was dead tired and a lot of cars had to pull over because they ran out of gas while creeping along, next to HUGE trucks, still we did manage to make it home in one piece, and I was able to stay awake and focused!

Just think, if you hadn't told us that thing about how Mick was going to have a warrant out for his arrest, we might have gone off with the citation and been on the interstate just that much sooner that we might have been involved in that terrible accident ourselves! So, I guess, now that I think about it, the truth is that in a way, I owe you my life!!! Thank you!!! You are a real hero, that way, even if you didn't mean to be! I guess sometimes being a stickler for detail and using what little bit of authority you have to make people behave themselves pays off in ways you can't even begin to predict or expect.

Funny how life is like that, isn't it? You just never know how you are affecting other people, or what is really going on for them. We just have to sort of guess and be as compassionate and loving as possible, that's what I believe. So, I am sending compassion and love your way now, hoping that you find more happiness in your life than you seem to have had so far, that you can find a better job and get some respect from people for once. The place to start is by loving yourself, of course. So I'm here to tell you to do that – you are an amazing person, even if you don't think so, you are. Just for being human! So don't let all the bad stuff in your life hold you back. Spread your kindness and compassion and generosity all over the place. You are in a perfect position to do that, working with people as you do. And then maybe you'll be able to move on and grow into a large man, if not in actual size, at least in spirit.

Maybe I'll see you in the airport next time I come through. If so, I will definitely say hello! My boyfriend will be coming through this Saturday, and he has said he will keep an eye out for you, too. Just to say hello and to wish you the happiest of holidays, as you muddle through your miserable little job and your miserable little life as your miserable small self. Be happy, my friend! Spread the joy and the love! Just think, if everybody did that all the time, what a beautiful world this would be! (Much safer, too.)

Peace to you always and in all places, from your friend,

Daisy Evans